new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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