My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize
