problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
