return my video game
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
