dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
