I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm too high and old for this...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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