I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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