I'm really into asian looking animals
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
