i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
last night I used snow as a chaser
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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