i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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