After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I know her cup size but not her name....
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