hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
