Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
