we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
