If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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