I'm sorry my penis didn't work
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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