I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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