You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize