she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
