come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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