So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
