My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize
