you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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