frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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