Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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