just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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