I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
