Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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