Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
