try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize