I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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