Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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