I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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