This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
