But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
