Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
someone owes me an orgasm
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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