The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
