Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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