I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
