I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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