i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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