I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
