mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize