You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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