I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
