If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
