so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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