Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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