why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
