so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
