why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
