is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
