So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize