Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
