How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
