That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
