You're my little dorito
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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