She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
