Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
