You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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