How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
