I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Im part way to drunk.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
