You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My bed smells like the plague
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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