New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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