I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
