I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
