I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
